"Never Point..." by Chad O

"Never Point..."

"An angry person causes trouble." Proverbs 29:22

When something goes wrong, do you look for somebody to blame? And do you try to blame other people even if you're the one who made the mistake? Hopefully not! In the game of life it's tempting to blame everybody (except yourself!) But the blame game is a game with no winners. So if things aren't going your way, don't look for somebody to blame, look for some way to make things better.

Parents...quit blaming your kids for your attitude... They didn't make you that way. Be the parent and offer solutions your the one with the life experiences. Gee wiz!

Quit blaming you kids when you're late to school, church or an event. You're driving the car! They will only need to be left once. Trust me.

Part of my leadership style addresses this very issue head on. If someone on my team or staff comes to me with problem they are facing, it would be very easy for me to listen and solve the problem before they leave my office. However, what have I taught them? Exactly! "Anytime I have a problem, I'll go to Chad and let him solve it, give direction or help place the blame on someone else."

There comes a time when we simply have to face the challenges in our lives and stop backing down. For every problem that a person brings to me I ask that they give me three solutions and as a leader or parent I make sure they leave equipped to solve the problem. You'll never win the blame game, so why even bother to play? The blame game is a game with no winners.

Blaming others is never acceptable with me. Because playing the blame game doesn't work, and while you're playing it, neither do you. I'll end with this quote from A.W. Tozer.. "The main thing is this: we should never blame anyone or anything for our defeats."

"If SHE could just change" by Brad Hodges

RECAP:  Every couple at some point complains, “We do the same things over and over and over again!”  When a marriage gets wedged in a monotonous rut , the vacuum of intimacy sucks each spouse dry.  It is exhausting and draining.  

In these "marriage humdrum" blog entries, we’ll look at a bunch of different warning signs that will help us identify marriage pits that most couples drift into.  And, we’ll look at the decisions necessary to having fun again together.

Marriage Humdrum Part 2
When marriage gets wedged in a rut, you can start playing the blame game.  The temptation when describing your marriage problems is to look around at your situation or spouse as the problem to fix.  However, James 4:1-3 tells us:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?  Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?  You desire and do not have, so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.  You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

One of the best ways to improve your marriage is to draw a circle around yourself and work on changing everyone inside the circle.

The problem isn't primarily your circumstances or your spouse; it is the selfishness and sinfulness within your own heart.  You are broken and have a part in why your marriage isn't where it should be.

Also, when you look to your wife as the source of a great marriage, you blame her as the source of all your problems.  "If she would just do this."  "If she would understand this, we could move forward."  "If she would just stop saying that, things would be a lot better."

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.   1 John 4:16

We are not the source of life; she is not the source; God is.  No matter how hard I try, I cannot generate, produce, or manufacture love and forgiveness.  It's impossible because we are not the source.  We forgive because He first forgave us.  We love because He first loved us.  He is the only source.

I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  John 14:6

Jesus is not only the way we come to God, but He's also the way we stay connected to God.  The gospel isn't just for unbelievers; the gospel's also for Christians.  God is our source of power in life, and we connect to Him through a passionate relationship with Jesus Christ.

Do you want to enjoy life with your wife?  It starts by unplugging from her as the source of happiness.  God gave me my wife so she and I could walk through the sometimes grinding life together.  She is my best friend.  But Jesus is my source for sanctification, not Raegan.

So this week, take your finger and point it at your wife.  If she's not present, pretend.  With gusto say, "You're fired!"  Then, take a second and explain what you just did.  You just fired your wife as the source of happiness in your marriage, the source of problems, and the source of life.

"Chronic Excuse Makers" by Chad O

"Chronic Excuse Makers"

What's an excuse? Well, when you make up an excuse, that means that you try to come up with a good reason that you didn't do something that you should have done.

"If you hide your sins, you will not succeed." Proverbs 28:13

Anybody can make excuses, and you can too. But you shouldn't get into the habit of making too many excuses. Why? Because excuses don't work. Everybody has already heard so many excuses that everybody can recognize one when they hear it. My dad told me that an excuse is only the skin of a reason stuffed with a lie. Making up a string of excuses is usually harder than doing the work. Excuses lead to trouble. If you're in the habit of making excuses, the best day to stop that is today.

Let's try this: Stop focusing on our lacks... stop giving out excuses and start looking and listening to Jesus. Replace your excuses with fresh determination. Let's be be men of determination for our families, our churches and our country.

"Countless Opportunities" by Chad O

"Countless Opportunities"

"Assuredly I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to me." Matthew 25:40

I, like many of you, struggle to have a consistent quite time every morning. I started using my Facebook page to not only highlight my daily time alone with God but to hold myself accountable and it works. I came across an interesting statistic yesterday that ties right in with my current series on sharing. This statistic showed that most people do not share because they have problems letting go of things. Researchers found that people think they might need it someday and so they hold onto it.

Remember, learning to share requires practice and lots of it. The more you share (with a good heart)--and the more you learn how good it feels to share--the sooner you'll be able to please God with the generosity and love that flows from your heart.

Practice, Practice, Practice..."Begin to know Christ now and finish never." - O. Chambers.

"Sharing every day..." Each day offers countless opportunities to share. Seize these opportunities. When you do, you'll help others understand that sharing should be woven into the fabric of everyday events.

Broken Spirit Remedy

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22

I'm afraid of embracing a broken spirit. 

Not the kind of broken spirit that is humbled before a holy God...but a broken spirit that is beat down and defeated by this and/or that. I can feel the danger within me brought on by a broken spirit. I’ve seen and still see the danger and destruction brought on by surrendering to a broken spirit. It dries things up. Dries up life. Dries up growth. Dries up joy.

A broken spirit leads to deep discontentment, easy frustration, growing bitterness, engorged pride, and heaps of worry...agents of destruction.

It's a real fight not to give into a broken spirit at times. When I feel a broken spirit rising within me I've had to take some time to analyze and find the root of my sadness or irritation. One hundred percent of the time it ends up being one of three things:

1. I'm not choosing to truly trust God in a particular area

2. I'm choosing not to be obedient in a particular area,

3. or I'm not choosing to partake in the joy in Christ that is mine.

Spending time with Jesus…praying, reflecting, remembering, reading, abiding, confessing, praising…is the only way to a truly joyful heart because that joy is based on something not of this world. It's humbling to realize and admit that sometimes I want to relieve my broken spirit with things I love about this world...like music, writing, my wife, or friends…and sometimes I run to things I hate about this world such as any distraction, busyness, or sin…but none of them are able to relieve my spirit. They don't provide me the kind of joy that is medicine for my soul. In fact, running to them only ends up causing more irritation to my spirit because I'm demanding and wanting from them more than they are capable of giving.

It is medicine to my soul to remember Christ. To remember all that He has done…and dream about all that He will do. To reflect on all that He has given already. To trust Him with all my concerns, worries, and frustrations. To truly let them go. To confess my known failures and rest assured knowing that He will lovingly discipline me and help me remove unknown sin in the future. To learn from His Word. To praise and thank Him for His great love that is beyond all that I could ever hope for.

When my base joy is in Christ, all other joys flourish.

I experience moments of an abundant life. I get a taste of how things were maybe supposed to be...and of how things will one day be.

We all wrestle with a broken spirit. Even the world is doing all they can to avoid and/or medicate their own broken spirits. As believers, we have a joy in Christ that is good medicine for our spirits. Let's work together to take advantage of the abundancwe have in Jesus.