"Marriage and a Driver's License" with Chad O

"Marriage and a Driver's License"

December is a fun month for me. I have my yearly check up at the doctor; I have a birthday and on occasion I have to go to the DPS office to get my driver's license renewed. Oh the lines and the wait at the doctor's office as people are using that last bit of their insurance before the new out-of-pocket money starts over. The line at the DPS office is ridiculous at best. Did you know that it is easier to get married than it is to get a driver's license? However learning to drive by your spouse's advice can be a real challenge.

2 Kings 4:8-36 is an amazing story. I don't think I have ever read through it. It's the biblical account of a miracle at Shunem. I encourage you to read it but here's my point. When new ideas are suggested by your spouse, be sympathetic and interested. (v.9-10) --- [She said to her husband, “I know that this man who often comes our way is a holy man of God. Let’s make a small room on the roof and put in it a bed and a table, a chair and a lamp for him. Then he can stay there whenever he comes to us.”]
Recently I went to my wife with a complex strategy/plan for our future retirement, kid's college, being empty nester's and just and over all plan to keep us moving forward. And (I should not be surprised but I was) she listened intently and after prayer we have a plan now that our whole family can see and enjoy moving through life.

In the story, the husband listened to his wife and it bared them a son and even after a trial, he listened again and amazing things happened.

Chad O.

"People to Avoid" with Chad O

"People to Avoid"

How can I know who my friends are? Ever wonder this?

One way is a test of loyalty. A genuine friend loves us through the best and worst of times. In fact, a friend's true colors are revealed when we go through unusually difficult or painful circumstances. According to Proverbs it's preferable to have one or two close, intimate companions than a host of superficial acquaintances. The person who maintains only surface relationships with a wide number of people may eventually face ruin for lack of good advice when it is really needed.

Let me caution you. True friends also wound us. They're willing to tell us the hard truth, even when it hurts. We can trust their honest feedback, but an enemy only multiplies kisses. (27:6)  Some people make poor friends--those who would entice us to join them in crime, for example. (1:10-19)
People who get drunk are people to avoid. People who are drawn to others or yourself because of material possessions or wealth. When financial hardship strikes, they disappear. Gossips should also be shunned. Information has power and their habit of sharing inappropriate and private matters inevitably separates close friends. (16:28)

Separating yourself is difficult but necessary. It hurts, but it's healthy. Recently two wise friends told me the same thing regarding this very thing, "Chad take the high road, it's always the better choice."

Chad O

"Lust" or "Love"? with Chad O

"Lust" or "Love"?

Most couples spend more time and money planning for their wedding than they do preparing for their marriage. Most couples spend more time making kids than they do learning how to raise a family. Divorce is the opt out policy if things don't go our way. FIGHT for your marriages... As the family goes, so goes society.

"By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4

Marriage by itself cannot make you happy. If you're unhappy or lonely in your marriage or singleness, you need a check up in the worst way. When a couple treats their marriage like a friendship, the word "submission" is not in their vocabulary. Don't expect marriage to do for you what only God can do for you. Be realistic. Only God can satisfy your loneliness. But Chad, "I need romance. I'm trying but my spouse refuses to get help." Can I just say, friendship is the gateway to intimacy. Sit down and figure out how to be friends and then work on the marriage part. Romance, as great as it is, cannot sustain a marriage like a friendship can. Lust looks for ways to get, while love looks for ways to give.

"God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die." John 3:16 (CEV)

 What are you willing to give or give up? Which describes you better, "Love" or "Lust"?

Chad O

"Victim or Game Changer?" with Chad O

"Victim or Game Changer?"

I've seen some really great marriages and I seen some totally implode. My intention this morning is to encourage, not throw rocks. You see, I live in a glass house. If I start throwing stones, it could turn out not so good for the home team. So what is a "victim"?

Definition: a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action.

We can all relate to this definition. I mean the top stories on the news generally involve a victim. These stories draw you into the victims world knowing your emotions will connect with the victim and their situation in the story. It works! The part we never see is hard work some victims put in to go from victim to "game-changer".

I could write a book about all the victim stories that I've witnessed in my life but that would only drag or hold society back. God loves His people well, but He does not desire for them to stay stuck in a rut or wallow in their own self-pity always playing their victim card. I love coming alongside a victim, allowing them time to grieve and watch them crawl out of the pit. There are victims in every marriage. There are victims in every failed marriage. Part of healing is forgiving...not holding a grudge, not staying a victim.

True friendship is wanting what is best for your mate. In a family that may be a child or your spouse. One-sided decisions in a marriage show inconsideration for the feelings of your spouse. For example: Your spouse will really appreciate it if you clean up your own mess as soon as you made it. True love also overlooks your spouse's faults. A marriage becomes a friendship when both partners genuinely enjoy each other's company. Learn from each other by becoming both a student and a teacher in your marriage.

Chad O

"Intentionality" with Matt Warren

Recently I was talking to my 15 year old son about his approach and response to teammates in competitive moments.  The discussion led me to recall moments when I was his age and the struggles that I dealt with in competition.  I remember when either myself or one of my teammates were not performing as well as was expected there could be tension or frustration when the poor performance persisted.  I shared with my son (hopefully out of some maturity from almost 30 years more of life experience) how his response in those moments can make both a difference in his performance as well as his teams, especially if he encourages his teammates or persists in his own pursuit of improvement positively.

Then I was reading something that day from C.H. Spurgeon, "We should keep the image of God so constantly before us that we become conformed to it.  The inner love for righteousness must be the motive for Christian integrity in our public walk."

The Scriptures communicate that the image of God before us is the glory of God revealed in Jesus Christ (John 1:14; Hebrews 1:1-3).  In my reasoning I know this to be true, but in my worship and daily living there can certainly be moments of disconnect.  The disconnect exists because I have exchanged what is best for things that might be good, or things that might even lead to compromising my faith.  I admit that I am often content with fleeting pleasures of sin instead of righteousness.

It is much like the athlete who has the ability to perform at a high level, be it in practice or game,  who finds himself practicing or performing at a compromised level.   The competitive side in me rises up and wants to call out, "Let's go man, do your best."  The coach in me would want to pull a struggling player aside and ask if there is a distraction or possibly an injury reducing the level of performance.  We know for success to occur there is a requirement on all of the team's part (coaches included) - intentionality.   Intentionality requires a focus on the goal, maybe even intensity (the Latin roots are very similar - intentus and intensus) in hopes of achieving the best performance.  In competition, success takes discipline and intentional, maybe even a relentless focus on the prize.

Herein lies the comparison: for the highly competitive athlete there must be an inner desire to perform consistently to the best of one's ability, despite any obstacle - INTENTIONALITY.  For the Christian, there must be an inner love for the righteousness of Jesus to be the highest regard - INTENTIONALITY.  This occurs not only in the realm of reason, but in the inner disciplines of devotion, prayer, and meditation as well as the outward life of worship, confession, and lifestyle evangelism (Romans 12:9-21).

I would hope and trust, as men who reason that the Scriptures are able to make us "competent and equipped for every good work, (2 Timothy 3:15-16)" that we not only reason about our faith, but we also connect the inner love, the affections and passions, for righteousness (not even merely the pursuit of it, for that will leave us short).  For if we love righteousness, the people in our lives . . . our wives (girlfriends or fiancee' as appropriate), children, co-workers, brothers in arms, etc, would identify the integrity of that commitment to inner righteousness through our public walk.  We would find greater joy, peace and intimacy with God and the glory of God would be revealed in us His sons.

So I must ask myself these questions, "Does my life reflect on a public nature the greatest thing I am competing for - an inner love of the righteousness of Jesus?"  That is what I am competing for in the midst of my day while denying the adversary, our opponent, the opportunity and ability to rob me of that righteousness I possess in Christ.  So will we together avoid cheap substitutes? Will we together rally at our positions?   Will we in unison race together so that we conform to the image of Christ and glorify our Heavenly Father?  I need committed men with me - INTENT on the same end, INTENSE for the same goal - loving righteousness, the righteousness of Jesus, above all else!

"How important is prayer?" by Chad O

Most Christians have to condition themselves to have a faithful prayer life. I have struggled with it all my life but I have found what works for me. I schedule it into my daily routine. Now before you question my sincerity, let me explain. Prayer at dinner, prayer with my staff, prayer before bedtime and prayer before meetings is not what I'm talking about. Those are great ways to invite God in and set the tone for the work we are about to do. Bedtime and before meal prayers are great as well, I'm talking about "Everyday Prayers".

I used to direct my prayers toward the large and important things until I was totally convicted by the verse, "you have not because you ask not." I felt like God gave us intelligence to handle the small matters. Boy was I wrong all these years. Even today I am reminded of God's promise: "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."

Of course, I'm not talking about turning God into some kind of cosmic Santa Clause. But if we pray God-centered prayers, there is always a place for our personal needs. He who taught us to pray, "...your kingdom come..." also taught us to pray, "...give us today our daily bread..."

"In prayer, as in all of life, there must be a balance between daily bread and coming kingdoms. If we discipline ourselves to spend time in prayer getting to know God, thinking God's thoughts after Him, we will never be guilty of praying petty selfish prayers." - Richard Exley

So how do I do it?
- I set my alarm to wake up at the same time everyday [4:30am]
- In order to do that I have to discipline myself to go to bed at a decent time.
- (M-F) I pray from an ongoing list to keep me focused. (yes I open my eyes)
- On Fridays I pray for the specific needs of my staff, their kids, my church and church leadership in depth. (this is from a list as well)

When I'm in God's will the easy decisions of life come naturally and don't require me stopping to pray about every little detail. It's evident because I make great decisions and God blesses my efforts. However, if I try to do it on my own, He let's me know.

"Growth Stages" with Chad O

"Growth Stages"

I was reading something the other day about a person's growth stages from birth to adulthood. It's not that I learned something new but I was reminded of just how involved God is in the process. So what about "spiritual growth"? It's been my experience that we all relate to God on four basic levels. Recall when you received Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Take a spiritual inventory and discover where you are in your personal spiritual journey.

1st there is the "GIVE ME" stage. Virtually everyone starts here. Like Jacob we say, "...If God will be with me and watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God."

2nd level is the "USE ME" stage. It replaces the give me stage as our preoccupation with getting has now evolved into an obsession to be used by God. Now we regularly pray for empowerment, and we dream of doing great things for the Lord. People here usually have great zeal but little wisdom and even less love. (Spiritual loneliness in spite of one frantic involvement.)

As we continue to mature in faith, we develop a growing desire to be like Christ. This 3rd stage is the "MAKE ME" phase. It is our desire to be used by God balanced by a yearning "...to be conformed to the likeness of [God's] Son..."

The 4th and final stage is when our relationship is characterized by intense love and focuses on spiritual intimacy. "SEARCH ME" With the psalmist we plead, "Search me, O God, and know my heart..." Nothing is as important as knowing God and being known by Him.

In truth, the mature believer incorporates all four dimensions in his or her relationship with God. They trust God to meet their daily needs w/o majoring in the kind of demanding prayers that often characterized their initial relationship. True ministry flows out of who we are in Christ. I want to know Christ and be known to Him. Identify some ways you can enhance your spiritual growth.

"Take off the Mask" by Chad O

"Take off the mask"

What good is there to be gained by being dishonest with God? How do we ever expect to be transformed into His image if we keep doing the same old thing and we continually cover those things we don't want God to know about?

The account with Abraham and Sarah is a case in point. God visited Abraham one day and told him that his wife Sarah was going to bear him a son. "...now Sarah was listening... [and] laughed to herself as she thought, 'After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?' "

Her laughter didn't last long. It caught in her throat when God overheard it and demanded an explanation. The Bible says, "Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, 'I did not laugh.'..."

What happened? Why was Sarah afraid? The God she knew was humorless. He was hard, and straight, and intolerant, like a stern grandfather or a hanging judge. And like many of us, she thought there was only one way to relate to Him, so she hastily donned her religious face. How we perceive Him affects everything we do -- how we relate to Him in worship and service, how we relate to others, and even how we view ourselves. Christianity is not spending our entire lives in an elaborate masquerade.

Think for a moment and be honest. Are you natural, are you really yourself when you approach God, or do you find yourself reverting to your religious conditioning? Are your prayers conversational or pious? Formal or friendly? Be real with God, not just "right" with God.

"Happiness" by Chad O

I don't know to many people that desire to never be happy. Happiness is something most people are okay with being on a consistent basis. However, if I asked 20 people what true happiness is or to describe happiness, I would probably get 20 different answers.
 
So I decided to Google the word "HAPPINESS"
Dictionary.com says...
1. the quality or state of being happy.
2 good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
Wikipedia.com describes happiness as..."a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."

Sounds boring doesn't it? Well, how about this? "HAPPINESS is growth." I've found that to be true in my life. When I'm growing in my relationship with God and being obedient to Him, that is when I've been most content. And that's a good thing to ask God to do for others in prayer. Paul also prayed that the people would keep "growing in the knowledge of God" (Col. 1:10). He knew that everything in life hinged on the health of our relationship with our creator. And he had also learned a valuable lesson as a result of growth in his own relationship with God: CONTENTMENT (Phil. 4:11-12).

"Plug in your Vacuum Cleaner" by Chad O

When Paul prayed, he also asked that people would receive power. He wrote that he wanted them to be "strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that [they] might have great endurance and patience" (Col.1:11). The power he was speaking of was that of God's Holy Spirit.

As Christians, each of us can be powered by the Holy Spirit. If we are to do anything of value, we must have Him as the source of our power. Think of yourself as being similar to a vacuum cleaner in your home. Like us, a vacuum cleaner was created with certain inherent abilities, and it has a specific purpose. but if it's not plugged in and receiving power, it's useless. It depends on another source to make it effective. If you pull the plug, it's worthless.

We're like that. Without the power from our Source, Jesus Christ, we're not effective. We may be able to do some things on our own, but they have no eternal value. When we really understand this, we begin to see ourselves as we really are. We realize that we need and must depend on God.

Stay plugged in today. - Chad O

"The Life of An Obedient Christian" with Chad O

Colossians 1:10
"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work".

In his letter to the Colossians, Paul also prayed people would lead productive lives. The life of an obedient Christian is fruitful. That is how our Creator designed us to be. As Jesus said, "I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last" (John 15:16). The greatest fruit that a person's life can bear has lasting value; usually that means actions with eternal consequences, such as salvation for unbelievers and ministry to other members of the body of Christ. How are you and those around you measuring up?

I don't know about you but processing what I just shared should make us all jump up and get in the game. So often Christians just play the game and don't play the game to have a lasting impression. Knowing this, can I encourage us all to bear lasting fruit? And when you pray for others, pray that they would be productive, and that they would choose to bear fruit that is eternal.

Praying you would be productive today - Chad O

"So Proud of Our God" by Chad O

I've just gotta brag on God a sec...

So the other day my wife Tania and were on our way to her doctor's appointment and formalized a plan to help a friend in need. We would go to Kroger and buy a $50 gift card to help with groceries. So we go in and see the doctor and as we are paying, the receptionist says, "Oh! I need to refund your $25 co-pay. Your doctor put a note on here not to charge you." So we leave, not really connecting the dots and a short time later we deliver the $50 gift card to our friend.

The following morning, I make the connection and Tania and I celebrated God blessing our obedience. Are you still with me? Good. Well a "nay-sayer" would point fingers and claim that Tania and I came up on the short side of the money stick... We gave $50 but only got back $25... We believe that God simple doubled our $25 and made it $50 for our friend [100% interest]. So Friday morning after breakfast, I decided to clean out the family junk drawer...What did I find? $37, that had been stuck in there and no one knew why? It was folded up tight and stuffed under a bunch of coins, keys and other misc things. But silly me I never made the connection...

So yesterday, my son Landen and I were working in the yard and just having some great conversations about his camp experience, his upcoming baptism and MONEY...Well low and behold, my 13 year old has an "Ahhhh Haaaa" moment. He too questioned the blessing part of our obedience but it was shorted lived. He said, "Dad there's the full blessing!!!!:
"God doubled you and mom's gift at the doctor's office." - [$25]
"You found $37 in the drawer, not included all the change you found." [$37]
"So you made $12! Also...
A family was blessed, you and mom get to be happy and Mallory and I take $.50 to school to buy "mystery snack" when they have it."

It truly was a great moment in my front yard with my 13 year old...Shhh I didn't tell him that the total in coin that I found was over $25 as well.

GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD! To you all the glory....thanks for letting me be a part of your story.