Betrayal has to be one of the worst experiences.
When someone who is supposed to love you doesn't just neglect you but intentionally does something that harms you…that's the kind of wound that cuts deep.
I'm gonna be real with you:
My wife, Emily, and I have been talking over some things in our lives and how we deal with fear and hurt. During that process I've been sorting through how my natural response is to get bitter. Bitter and negative and cynical.
I've actually known this about myself for a while, but the Holy Spirit has me at a place in my life where I'm just seeing this sinful response in all new light and with new clarity.
Hebrews 12 encourages to throw off everything that weighs us down. That's how bitterness feels. It feels like a heavy weight.
If I've learned anything, it's that bitterness isn't helpful. I need tools for dealing with life and relationships that won't weigh me down, but that will help me to continue running my race.
I have found no better place for life-giving tools than the Word of God.
Take Joseph's life for example. I'm going to assume that most of you are semi familiar with his story, but here are some key points:
- He was betrayed by family (brothers wanted to murder him, but sold him into slavery instead)
- He was betrayed by his employer (employer threw him into jail after the employers wife lied)
- He was betrayed by co-workers/friends (fellow prisoner forgot Joseph for many years and left him in prison)
(If you want the full story you can read it in Genesis chapters 37-50)
Joseph's story is basically one wrong committed against him after another. The amazing thing is that Joseph, in the midst of it all, doesn't let himself get weighed down in bitterness. Instead, he runs his race diligently.
Here are somethings I learn from the life of Joseph.
1. He pressed on - he didn't give up on life, he continued forward in each new season
2. He worked hard with integrity and great character striving to be excellent in all that he did - he didn't just "press on," he really did everything with excellence which is why he continued to rise to the top no matter how low he was previously.
3. He used whatever God-given power he had to serve, both in the heights and the in the depths of his life/career. - Whether in prison or with empowered by Pharaoh himself, Joseph was constantly serving others.
4. He forgave - He let it go. He didn't hold-on to things.
5. He repaid good for evil - His life proved he had forgiven by saving and rescuing the very lives that sought to murder him years earlier. He comforted those that hurt him.
Listen to this amazing response of Joseph to his brothers in Genesis 50.
His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.”But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Bitterness doesn't equip me to do any of these things.
Bitterness doesn't equip me to repay good for evil. To run my race with diligence. To be excellent in all that I do.
Bitterness truly IS a poison for the one that holds it in their heart.
This is why Jesus encourages us in Matthew 5:43-48 to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
I'm convinced that EVERYTHING that Jesus commands He commands it not only because it's right, but also because it is for our benefit.
We don't love our enemies JUST because it's the right thing to do…it's also the better thing for us to do. It's the most life-giving thing for us to do. It's going to be the thing that will give us the most success in life.
Jesus came to give us abundant life NOW. Loving our enemies doesn't work against that, loving our enemies works towards giving us that abundant life.
Maybe you, like me, need to look more in the Word, look more to Jesus to give you tools for overcoming bitterness.
Jesus was like Joseph. He WAS murdered and betrayed…and He too offers salvation to those who have betrayed Him. (aka. everyone/you/me)
Jesus wasn't controlled by those that hated him…and He can empower you and I with the same kind of freedom.
He can empower you to return good for evil and in doing so you will be equipped to live life to it's fullest.
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