squaring off with the self-righteous busybodies by bruce w fong

This week I was out for a walk and deep in thought.  A thousand thoughts flooded my mind.  Beyond my immediate thoughts there were intense feelings bubbling up from my contemplation.

I was wondering about these unfamiliar feelings.  They were dark and foreboding.  My habit to be optimistic and hopeful were not reacting.  Instead, my dependable life skills seemed to be leaving me vulnerable.

One of my sheep, someone in my congregation was hurting.  I did not like what they were facing.  Accusations were running wild by irrational people. 

When the objective skills were applied to the story, I could see possibilities and many problems.  But, why do we have to always conclude on the side what is bad?  Is seems far too human to judge others, be a part of casting stones.

Tears rolled down her cheeks.  She was trying to be brave.  Words from accusers were intense.  They did not make sense, they were disorganized and irrational.  Others sitting in judgment were afraid to set off the one who had a vendetta.  They were bowing to the pressure of emotion.

Abandonment colored the moment.  Those who should have protected and advocated on behalf of the accused buckled.  They were weak.   Again my question was simple, "Why do people choose to believe the worst?"

The decision rested with me.  I was glad to have that role.  Standing against an accuser who was a gossip, slanderer, liar and meddler seemed simple to me.  Today I stood up for someone who was being victimized in our Christian world for matters that were none of the business of the busybody.

It was a judgment call I know.  But, God called me to shepherd His flock.  I would not let someone, an intruder assume a self-righteous role and bring hurt into the life of another.  Nothing good could come from the intrusion of the wicked finger-pointer. 

The accuser turned to me when I announced my decision.  The decision was mine.  My role was to adjudicate the interrogation. 

That ugly episode was not long-lived but it was highly impactful in the life of someone whose pain was already addressed at the cross, dealt with before the proper channels, monitored by spiritual people and under clear spiritual authority.  No public scrutiny was either Biblically nor reasonably legitimate.

But, sinful carnal humans have a way of creeping into other people's lives.  Come on, Christians!  Let's mind our own business.  The church does not need self-righteous judgmental crusaders spying in on the lives of other people.  We who are in pursuit of righteousness have far more pressing real life issues to address.

"Your Corner of the World" by Chad O

"Your Corner of the World"

Would you like to be a little happier?
The Bible says that if you become a more generous person, you'll become a happier person, too.

"Happy is the person who thinks about the poor." Psalm 41:1

It's a fact: sharing makes you a better person. Why? Because when you share...
- You're obeying God
- You're making your corner of the world a better place
- and you're learning exactly what it feels like to be a generous, loving person.

Happiness is obedience to God. When you share, you have the fun of knowing that your good deeds are making other people happy. When you share, you're learning how to become a better person. When you share, you're making things better for other people. When you don't share, you become self-focused and become overwhelmed with the things in your life that you personally would like to see changed but don't know how to accept.

Tip of the day: Cheerful generosity is contagious... Others catch it from us.

"Do we have ANYTHING in common?" by Brad Hodges

RECAP:  Every couple at some point complains, “We do the same things over and over and over again!”  When a marriage gets wedged in a monotonous rut , the vacuum of intimacy sucks each spouse dry.  It is exhausting and draining.  

In these "marriage humdrum" blog entries, we’ll look at a bunch of different warning signs that will help us identify marriage pits that most couples drift into.  And, we’ll look at the decisions necessary to having fun again together.

Marriage Humdrum Part 3
Men, do you ever wonder, "How are my wife and I ever going to get out of this funk in our marriage when we don't even like to do the same things anymore?" 

"Maybe if I had met her through e-harmony or something we would have been more compatible."

Several years ago, Raegan and I led a pre-marital course for some couples, and on our first night we were going around asking couples to introduce themselves and tell us how they met.  Well...before we started this exciting icebreaker, I had just shared some sarcastic thoughts about e-harmony and other match making websites.... As you can imagine one of the couples had met at one of these very sites!

I had to back-peddle and explain what I meant.  I was making fun of these commercials in that you can have these "obviously" happy marriages by just taking an assessment and getting matched up.  I like that marriage is celebrated as fun and happy on these commercials, but this can also be misleading.

Compatibility is not nearly as important as Character. 

It's less about what we have in common and much more about our integrity, commitment, and sacrifice we display in our character as men through the grace and forgiveness of Jesus working through us in the power of the Holy Spirit.

God gave us an instruction manual in the Bible about marriage relationships so that we might truly live with the joy and intensity of satisfaction that He created us to experience in the Song written by Solomon.  Eight very practical and sometimes explicit chapters.

"The fragrance of your perfume is intoxicating; your name is perfume poured out.  No wonder young women adore you."  Song of Songs 1:3

Here we see Solomon's wife is drunk with her desire for Solomon not because of compatibility but because of his name.  She said his name was like purified oil. 

Purified oil is the first pressing of oil from the olive trees that surrounded Jerusalem.  The first pressing of oil (the extra virgin olive oil), was the oil used in the lampstand that burned day and night in the temple.  She was saying, "your name is of highest quality."  In that day names represented someone's reputation, virtue, integrity and character.

Your character, not your chemistry, determines your commitment to enjoy each other for life.  Moral slackness is the number one cause of divorce in this country.  Adultery, debt, and not practicing promises are symptoms of a spouse's lack of character.  Surface integrity leads men to look for an easy out when we find ourselves on the poorer side of "for richer or poorer" or on the worse side of "for better for worse."

Please don't hear me saying that compatibility isn't important.  Having things in common just isn't going to hold you to your vows, but character does.  So, work on your character, men.  Allow the Holy Spirit to invade your mind and hearts, so that when you're pressed in your marriage and in life, what comes out will be purified oil.   And, your name will be synonymous with honesty, love, and godly character.

Next time you see an online-dating commercial, don't be hoodwinked.  You're not in a rut in your marriage because you didn't take a test before marrying.  Your marriage humdrum state may have more to do with what is going on in your heart.