"People to Avoid" with Chad O

"People to Avoid"

How can I know who my friends are? Ever wonder this?

One way is a test of loyalty. A genuine friend loves us through the best and worst of times. In fact, a friend's true colors are revealed when we go through unusually difficult or painful circumstances. According to Proverbs it's preferable to have one or two close, intimate companions than a host of superficial acquaintances. The person who maintains only surface relationships with a wide number of people may eventually face ruin for lack of good advice when it is really needed.

Let me caution you. True friends also wound us. They're willing to tell us the hard truth, even when it hurts. We can trust their honest feedback, but an enemy only multiplies kisses. (27:6)  Some people make poor friends--those who would entice us to join them in crime, for example. (1:10-19)
People who get drunk are people to avoid. People who are drawn to others or yourself because of material possessions or wealth. When financial hardship strikes, they disappear. Gossips should also be shunned. Information has power and their habit of sharing inappropriate and private matters inevitably separates close friends. (16:28)

Separating yourself is difficult but necessary. It hurts, but it's healthy. Recently two wise friends told me the same thing regarding this very thing, "Chad take the high road, it's always the better choice."

Chad O

"Lust" or "Love"? with Chad O

"Lust" or "Love"?

Most couples spend more time and money planning for their wedding than they do preparing for their marriage. Most couples spend more time making kids than they do learning how to raise a family. Divorce is the opt out policy if things don't go our way. FIGHT for your marriages... As the family goes, so goes society.

"By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4

Marriage by itself cannot make you happy. If you're unhappy or lonely in your marriage or singleness, you need a check up in the worst way. When a couple treats their marriage like a friendship, the word "submission" is not in their vocabulary. Don't expect marriage to do for you what only God can do for you. Be realistic. Only God can satisfy your loneliness. But Chad, "I need romance. I'm trying but my spouse refuses to get help." Can I just say, friendship is the gateway to intimacy. Sit down and figure out how to be friends and then work on the marriage part. Romance, as great as it is, cannot sustain a marriage like a friendship can. Lust looks for ways to get, while love looks for ways to give.

"God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die." John 3:16 (CEV)

 What are you willing to give or give up? Which describes you better, "Love" or "Lust"?

Chad O

"Victim or Game Changer?" with Chad O

"Victim or Game Changer?"

I've seen some really great marriages and I seen some totally implode. My intention this morning is to encourage, not throw rocks. You see, I live in a glass house. If I start throwing stones, it could turn out not so good for the home team. So what is a "victim"?

Definition: a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action.

We can all relate to this definition. I mean the top stories on the news generally involve a victim. These stories draw you into the victims world knowing your emotions will connect with the victim and their situation in the story. It works! The part we never see is hard work some victims put in to go from victim to "game-changer".

I could write a book about all the victim stories that I've witnessed in my life but that would only drag or hold society back. God loves His people well, but He does not desire for them to stay stuck in a rut or wallow in their own self-pity always playing their victim card. I love coming alongside a victim, allowing them time to grieve and watch them crawl out of the pit. There are victims in every marriage. There are victims in every failed marriage. Part of healing is forgiving...not holding a grudge, not staying a victim.

True friendship is wanting what is best for your mate. In a family that may be a child or your spouse. One-sided decisions in a marriage show inconsideration for the feelings of your spouse. For example: Your spouse will really appreciate it if you clean up your own mess as soon as you made it. True love also overlooks your spouse's faults. A marriage becomes a friendship when both partners genuinely enjoy each other's company. Learn from each other by becoming both a student and a teacher in your marriage.

Chad O