In these "marriage humdrum" blog entries, we’ll look at a bunch of different warning signs that will help us identify marriage pits that most couples drift into. And, we’ll look at the decisions necessary to having fun again together.
Marriage Humdrum Part 5
The other day while push mowing my lawn I ran out of gas. And, I was also out of stored gas. Has this ever happened to you? I had trimmed the trees and bushes, pulled weeds, and cleaned the house. I was tired. Here's what I actually thought in that moment. "Instead of getting more gas, I could purchase a new lawn mower! I've had this one for 12 years; I'll probably start having more problems with it; I'll just get a new one."
My best decisions come when I'm fresh and rested. This wasn't one of them...
The marriage humdrum warning sign for this blog entry is tiredness. When a marriage is wedged in a rut, it's anything but fresh and rested. You can tell right away when a spouse or couple is tired.... snippy (they'll bite your head off), hopelessness, lots of sighing, negative outlook, and exhausted.... You know when a couple is at their limits.
Never make a decision regarding your wife or marriage when your load is exceeding your limits. Instead get your tank refilled! And, maybe you need to help refill your wife's love tank, too.
So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith. (Galatians 6:9, 10 MSG)When your physical, emotional, relational, or mental tanks are empty, that's a horrible time to make a decision regarding your marriage. Especially, your spiritual tank. Let Jesus fill you up. Trust him and spend time with him.
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind. (Isaiah 40:27-31 MSG)
Those who feel tired and worn out will find new life and energy, and when they sleep, they will wake up refreshed. (Jeremiah 31:25, 26 CEVUS06)I believe Jesus breathes life and energy into dead and exhausted marriages. I believe in miracles. Sometimes the Holy Spirit works in instant. Like a bolt of lightning a spouse's heart can be sparked and changed and the marriage is saved. Other times it takes weeks, months, or years to see the miracle. Either way it takes time to heal the wounds of a marriage stuck in a rut.
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