Pettiness

by Charles R. Swindoll

This matter arose because some false brothers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves. We did not give in to them for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might remain with you.

Galatians 2:4-5

Few things turn our crank faster than being around big-minded, enthusiastic, broad-shouldered visionaries. They are positive, on the move, excited about exploring new vistas, inspired, and inspiring. While others are preoccupied with tiny tasks and nit-picking squabbles, these people see opportunity in every difficulty and helpful lessons in every setback.

Few things turn us off quicker than being around small-minded, pessimistic, narrow-world, tedious frowners. Engrossed in the minutiae of what won't work and remembering a half-dozen worst-case scenarios, they can throw more cold water on a creative idea than a team of firefighters snuffing out a candle.

It's not caution we resent. Caution is necessary and wise. Caution keeps the visionary realistic. No, it's the tiny-focused, squint-eyed, tight-lipped, stingy soul that drives us batty. The best word is petty . . . as in petty cash, petty larceny, petty minded.

"Pettiness," writes George Will, "is the tendency of people without large purposes."

Petty people are worse than stubborn; they are negative and rigidly inflexible. While we work overtime to come up with some soaring idea, they've already thought up eight reasons it won't fly.

Whatever or wherever or whoever manifests pettiness isn't my concern, however. Stopping its effect on us is. Why? Because the church seems to be the breeding ground for this legalistic disease.

Pettiness takes a terrible toll. It kills our joy!

I have been studying the lives of several of the great visionaries of the church. They were extremely different, yet they all have one common denominator: Not one was petty. I mean not one.

Let me remind you of Paul's reaction to those who "sneaked in to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus." He declares, "We did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour" (Gal. 2:5). Nor should we.

Count on this: You will encounter petty types. So when you do, shrug it off and just keep on honoring God as you pursue those large purposes.


Excerpted from Day by Day with Charles Swindoll, Copyright © 2000 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. (Thomas Nelson Publishers). All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.

The Authority of Christ (Part Three)

The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord.

Luke 4:18,19

When we give Christ authority in our lives, we also discover that He has the authority to make our lives so much better than they would be without Him. Just look at the verse from Luke, for example.

Are you brokenhearted over a child, a relationship with a family member or something happening between you and another person? These heartbreaks and sorrows are a part of life. I have faced too many of them and found myself without any word for them. But Jesus said to give Him our hurts and sorrows.

Will you take your broken heart with you to the grave and end up hopeless? Or will you take your broken heart to Christ and let the Great Physician heal you on His authority? Jesus said He can heal the brokenhearted.

In addition, Jesus has authority over sin. Nothing gives us freedom and heals our sorrows more than forgiveness of sins. Look at Mark 2:5, where Jesus says to the paralytic, "My son, your sins are forgiven." And then, to squash grumbling among the scribes who said only God has such authority, He proved who He was by healing the same man!

Finally, He has authority over death. We see this in the raising of Lazarus in John 11 and then, of course, through His own resurrection.

Knowing you have eternal life because of Christ gives new meaning and hope to your years on earth. As Jesus said, "O death, where is your victory?" (1 Cor. 15:55).

Prayer: That God will give you hope and joy in the midst of troubled times.

Discuss: What is causing heartbreak and sorrow in your life right now? Have you spent time talking with God about it?

The Authority of Christ (Part Two)

And Jesus said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men."
Mark 1:17

In Mark we find Christ meeting Simon and Andrew as they were casting fishing nets into the sea. He challenges them to follow Him, and they spend a couple of weeks making their decisions-figuring if it would cost them financially, determining if it would damage their reputations.

Wrong. Simon and Andrew immediately left the nets and followed Him. They instantly recognized Christ's authority in their lives.

I believe that one of the reasons why we don't see more people leaving their nets and following Christ is because we in the Church have not presented the authentic, real, living Lord Jesus in all of His splendor, majesty and glory. When we see Him for who He is, no possession, no worldly honor or success can compare with the King of kings.

Not all who see Jesus continue following Him. John 6 records that, after Christ made some difficult and challenging statements, "Many of His disciples withdrew, and were not walking with Him anymore" (v. 66). Then Jesus says to the remaining 12, "You do not want to go away also, do you?" (v. 67).

And Peter makes a profound statement: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life" (v. 68). He had come to the conclusion that there was no other to follow.

The longer I am in the Christian life, the more I see there is nothing else that matters other than Jesus Christ and His Word. In recent days I've asked Him to infuse my life with the conviction that He alone is worth following.

Prayer: That you will grow in your hunger and thirst for knowing the One who has the words of eternal life.

Discuss: Do you know of someone who has withdrawn and no longer follows Jesus? How has that decision affected his or her life? And those around him or her? Have you left your nets to follow Jesus?

The Authority of Christ (Part One)

Ephesians 1:22 And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church.

I once found a fascinating quote by A.W. Tozer that went like this:

The present position of Christ in the gospel churches may be likened to that of a king in a limited monarchy. He is lauded, supported. But his real authority is small. Nominally that king is head over all, but in every crisis someone else makes the decisions. On formal occasions he appears in his royal attire to deliver tame, colorless speeches put into his mouth by some real rulers of the country. The whole thing may be no more than good-natured make-believe....

Then he draws the parallel to Christ and the Church. Read carefully:

Among the gospel churches, Christ is now in fact little more than a beloved symbol. All hail the power of Jesus' name is the church's national anthem and the cross is her official flag. But in the week by week services of the church and the day by day conduct of the members, someone else, not Christ, makes the decisions.

I believe Jesus Christ has been robbed of His authority in the homes today. To have authority means to have the right to rule, to take the rightful responsibility, power and ownership of ruling, and to give it to another person who has authority to rule you 100 percent. We haven't rejected Christ; we've just cordially reduced Him and robbed Him of the ownership He deserves within our individual lives.

No, we haven't rejected Christ outright. Instead we have simply modified Him. When God's Word gets too hard, we begin to modify and reinterpret those things as they best fit us.

But He wants much more. In the next two devotions I'll continue discussing Christ's authority.

Prayer: Honestly go to Jesus Christ in prayer right now. Pray about His authority in your life and home.

Discuss: How do you think your life and marriage would be different if you gave Christ authority in your life?

The Freedom to Fail

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

At our house we have experienced plenty of failures, both great and small. For years, a meal without a spill was nothing short of miraculous. The milk may have gone shooting across the supper table or formed a lazy river that cascaded over the edge, splattering onto the floor. We've seen some classic spills: two simultaneously, four at one sitting, and one glass of chilled apple juice that spilled perfectly into Dennis's shoe (while he was wearing it). Our favorite phrase for the children became, "It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes."

One evening, I spilled my drink during dinner. A little hand patted my arm, and Rebecca (then a five-year-old) reassuringly said, "It's okay, Dad. Everybody makes mistakes."

When you give your mate the freedom to fail, you begin to remove the pressure to perform for acceptance. You free your mate to set aside his or her fear, to trust God. Failure then becomes a tutor, not a judge. In the presence of freedom, we learn from failures instead of being condemned by them.

For years, we talked about moving to the country. The thought of the children having room to roam sounded inviting, but moving a large family is a chore. More importantly, it was a risk. What if we didn't like driving back and forth to town? What if we didn't like being isolated from friends? So we put off the decision.

Then one day Barbara said, "So what if we decide we don't like it? We can sell and move back to town!" Her statement clicked; it gave me the freedom to make a decision-even a wrong one! We decided to try it, and we love it. It's important to note that the freedom to risk making a decision came only after we had given each other the freedom to fail.

Prayer: That God will increase your faith to match the challenges you face, and that He will teach you how failures have helped you mature in Christ.

Discuss: Share what you would consider to be your greatest failure. How has that impacted your decision-making process today? Discuss a decision you are facing and how the fear of failure is influencing that decision.

Worship Sets Us Free

And when they had laid many stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to keep them securely. Having received such a charge, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks. But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone¹s chains were loosed. Acts 16:23-26

Worship sets people free. How much do you worship? When do you worship? Are you able to worship when your circumstances are the very worst, your patience has failed and your confusion is maxed out? Do praise songs come to your mind at the most stressful times? We need to assess our ability to worship because worship will change our lives. We need to train ourselves to worship in all circumstances.

Paul and Silas were beaten, thrown in the inner prison and their feet were fastened in stocks. They were probably in too much pain to sleep, so at midnight they broke out in worship. They did not have a worship leader, instruments, power point, or a radio to sing along to. They probably could not even tap their feet to keep the beat. Paul and Silas may not even have had good singing voices. But from the wellspring of their hearts, their mouths worshipped the Lord despite their circumstances. As a result, other prisoners listened to them and even better, everyone¹s chains were loosed. Worship set prisoners free.

In many ways, you may feel like a prisoner. You may have habits that you cannot break, you may find yourself in circumstances that have not changed, you may feel that God isn¹t answering your prayers. What are you to do? Worship. Worship when you are sad, feel bad, and after you were mad. Worship every day, at work and at play, worship any way. Worship will change your life and if you sing loud enough for others to listen, your worship may set them free as well.

Lord, teach me to worship. Lord, bring songs to my mind so that worship can be my way of life. Change me through worship and allow me to see the fruit of worship in the lives of others around me.

Today's Reading: Jeremiah 1-2; 1 Timothy 3

Are You Listening?

Psalm 51:1,2 Be gracious to me, O God, according to Thy lovingkindness; according to the greatness of Thy compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

King David had sent a man to his death so he could take that man's wife for his own. But when the prophet Nathan rebuked him for this terrible sin, David had a choice: He could turn from God (perhaps even finding a way to blame others for what he had done), or he could admit his offense and repent.

As we all know, David recognized that God was speaking to him through Nathan, and he decided to repent. The beautiful words of Psalm 51 speak of his broken heart.

I wonder how many people hear God speaking through another person yet make the wrong choice? What if Chuck Swindoll, in that defining moment in his kitchen during his tenth year of marriage, had refused to listen to his wife's cry of pain? What if he had continued in his selfish ways?

One of two things probably would have occurred. First, he might have continued to progress and achieve fame and notoriety-only to have his life and ministry fall apart at a later date. Second, God might have clamped shut the working of the Holy Spirit in and through him, and today he'd be ministering somewhere with very little impact.

Sooner or later, a man who continues on the path of selfishness and rebellion will end up empty and defeated. If he is fortunate, he will listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, often speaking through his mate, early on and save himself years of misery.

When Cynthia Swindoll told Chuck that she didn't feel part of his ministry, "It was like a light clicked on in the room." He told himself, "Swindoll wake up. This is the best thing you could be hearing. This could be the making of your marriage."

You can thrive in a marriage when you commit to create a partnership under the guidance of the Holy Spirit-and when you're willing to listen to Him speaking.

Prayer: Take your wife's hand and genuinely thank God for her.
Discuss: What has God taught you through your mate? In what situations has the Holy Spirit used your mate to help you become more Christlike?

Grant Her Honor

1 Peter 3:7 You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way...and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

We all realize that well-known pastors and Christian leaders are as human as anyone else. Yet something within us always remains surprised when we hear them tell stories that demonstrate just how fallible they are!

That was the case recently when I interviewed pastor and author Chuck Swindoll for "FamilyLife Today." Chuck was talking about a key event in his relationship with his wife, Cynthia: The day he realized how selfish he was.

They had been married for 10 years and were sitting in their kitchen in Boston. Cynthia began crying and said, "Honey, I don't want you to tell people that we are partners in ministry anymore. Because we're not."

Chuck was stunned. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You don't really want me as a partner," she replied. "You just kind of need me at certain times...I'm not the Holy Spirit in your life, and I'm not giving you an agenda. I can just tell you I am one unhappy woman. I feel distant from the ministry. When I hear you preach, I'm watching one man. When I live with you, I'm with another."

As Chuck looks back on that day, he sees it as a turning point in his marriage. "I really was living a single life as a married man," he recalls. "When I saw it, I was ashamed. That's the only word I know to use.

"I began to see little things I had done for 10 years, such as not bothering to introduce Cynthia to others. When she served the meat, I'd take the biggest piece. I'd tell jokes about her. If we had a busy weekend, I'd take care of my agenda. She'd take up the slack.

"I realized I am a selfish man."

Since then Chuck and Cynthia began forging a true partnership in their ministry; in fact, he says his best ideas come from her. Their marriage stands as a testimony to the grace of God because Chuck is living out the truth of 1 Peter 3:7: granting honor to his wife as a "fellow heir of the grace of life."

Prayer: Ask God to help you be the servant-leader your wife needs you to be.

Discuss: How do you treat your wife? Is she a true partner in your life? Would she say you are unselfish?

Discoveries from Difficulties

Matthew 7:25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock.

I see two major ways in which families fail to respond properly to adversity. First, and most typically, they fail to anticipate the trials and problems that will come. When Jesus spoke of building our lives on a sure foundation, He seemed to assume that the rains will come and the winds will blow.

To the well-known saying that only death and taxes are certain, we can add that troubles are certain, too. As I read recently, "The man whose problems are all behind him is probably a school bus driver."

Second, when troubles do hit, many couples simply don't know how to respond. They have no foundation in Christ, no plan for dealing with the pain-so they turn against one another.

I was just ending a FamilyLife Conference in Dallas when a trim, well-muscled gentleman came up to greet me. He was a Green Beret. I had touched a nerve when I talked about having a plan to face problems because he said, "Dennis, in the Green Berets we train over and over, and then over and over again. We repeat some exercises until we are sick of them, but our instructors know what they are doing. They want us so prepared and finely trained that when trials and difficulties come on the battlefield, we will be able to fall back upon that which has become second nature to us. We literally learn to respond by reflex action."

Families-especially parents-should be so well grounded in God's plan that their reactions to crises and difficulties will be an automatic reflex, not a panic. If you wait until a crisis hits and then turn to the Scriptures, you won't be as prepared-and you'll be more vulnerable to the enemy.

Prayer: That you will be able to call on your long-standing faith in Christ, and the life of trust you have built on Him, when crises strike.

Discuss: If a life-altering crisis hit your family tomorrow, do you feel you'd be ready?

Contagious Anger

Proverbs 22:24-25 - Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.

Anger can wreak havoc on both the body and soul, but its tentacles reach beyond the individual and wrap around everyone in close proximity. Bitter outbursts and silent resentment are not just our own personal issues.

An angry spirit is contagious. It is passed from one person to another—and from one generation to the next. Workplaces can become tense environments full of caustic words and attitudes. Ire turns homes into battlegrounds of verbal explosions or silent hostility. Even churches suffer from malicious gossip and fights over personal preferences.

God created us to live in fellowship with others, but anger can poison our relationships. Tragically, those closest to us are the ones who suffer the most. Children learn to respond to life's situations by observing their parents' example. They then develop similar attitudes and patterns of behavior. We need to give serious thought to what kind of heart we are passing down to our sons and daughters.

Thankfully, God is in the heart-changing business. Just as we learn an angry person's ways by association, so we can learn right-eous ways by walking closely with the Lord. Christ calls us to come, learn from Him—and find rest for our souls (Matt. 11:28-29).

Which would you prefer: churning anger or Christ's peace? Both require sacrifice. To maintain anger, you might have to forfeit healthy relationships and a godly heritage for your descendants. But to acquire peace, ask God to help you leave your grudges, personal rights, and insults on the altar.

When Life Doesn't Turn Out

This devotional was written by Jim Liebelt

And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
—Philippians 4:19

It's not a stretch to say that most people have hopes and dreams for this life. I don't personally know anyone who wants to live a bad life! I've never seen an advertisement for a seminar called "How to Have a Lousy Life," have you? Still, for many Christ-followers, life doesn't turn out the way they had hoped. Perhaps you have experienced the disappointment of dreams and goals that have gone unfulfilled. Life's reality breaks through the front door of our lives—as an uninvited guest—and then must be dealt with as a new member of the family!

Let me share with you a personal example. Some years ago, while in my early-forties, I had a heart attack. At the time, I was physically fit and had worked for years to minimize risk factors because of a family history of heart disease. My plans did not include dealing with heart disease during my forties, so my disappointment at this new reality of life hit me hard. Even now, although my life has regained its sense of balance, I live with the knowledge that in this life, I won't have all that I wanted or envisioned.

I share this personal story with you because, like you, I am on the journey of being a Christ-follower, and the journey includes all of our life experiences—both good and bad. While we can't have everything that we want, we can trust that God provides for what we need. God is in the business of providing opportunities for us to grow in faith daily. And, it seems that most often these opportunities take the form of struggles and trials.

Painful life experiences may not be enjoyable, but they absolutely can be good and worthwhile if in the midst of them we allow ourselves to be molded into the likeness of Jesus! We are both able and responsible to choose our response to trials. A time of trial forces a decision to be made and our response, like facing a fork in the road, determines which road we take. One road leads to despair and bitterness. The other road leads to hope and developing Christ-like character.

Today, I encourage you to be mindful that we can't always get what we want in life, but we can choose—even in the midst of disappointment—to trust that God will provide everything we need!

GOING DEEPER:

• When life doesn't turn out the way you had hoped, how do you normally respond?
• Why do you think God chooses to use our trials and struggles to build godly character into our lives?

FURTHER READING: James 1:2-4, 12; Romans 5:3-5; Romans 8:18-30

Too Heavy to Carry

Ephesisans 4:32 And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Someone once asked, "Did you know the longer you carry a grudge the heavier it gets?" Refusing to forgive those who wrong us can be a wearying weight on the soul.

On the other hand, when we choose to forgive, we shed a huge burden we simply don't need to carry through life. It can make us absolutely "lighthearted" to put down the burden of a grudge.

What can you do to keep from carrying grudges and an unforgiving spirit through life?

For one thing, clarify your "inner occupation." Do you want to make judging others your spiritual career path? Jesus said, "Do not judge lest you be judged" (Matt. 7:1), indicating that pursuing the occupation of judge will boomerang on you.

Judging, just like taking vengeance, belongs to God, not to people: "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" (Rom. 12:19, KJV). Even after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, he said to God, "Against Thee, Thee only, I have sinned" (Ps. 51:4).

Since God makes the rules, He is the only true Judge. People who wrong others really wrong God more than others. Relieve yourself of the responsibility that actually belongs only to God.

Giving up the judgeship means you also relieve yourself of the responsibility of punishment. Forgiving someone doesn't necessarily mean we forget immediately or even completely, but it does mean we no longer hold a private grudge that desires to punish, or to see them punished.

We can also avoid carrying grudges by resolving conflicts as they occur. "Do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Eph. 4:26). Which would you rather face-the short-term, emotional pain of asking another to forgive you for your anger, or carrying the cancerous feelings of bitterness for a lifetime? It's your choice.

Prayer: That the forgiving grace of God you've experienced in your own life will characterize also your attitude toward those who wrong you.

Discuss: How would people who know you best describe you? Do you tend to carry grudges? Evaluate if you are carrying any grudges at home, at work or at church.

True Tolerance

"Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved."
—Acts 4:12

I find it ironic that those who tell us we need to be tolerant are very intolerant of the gospel. In fact, the most intolerant people seem to be those who are always telling you to be tolerant. I have heard the complaint that Christians are so intolerant, yet I don't think that is true at all.

I think Christians are the most tolerant people of all, because we want to reason with those who have a different belief system than ours or live a different lifestyle than we live. Yes, we believe in absolute truth and believe in it unapologetically. But I have found that people who are the most intolerant are the ones who say, "I don't like the fact that you believe in absolute truth, and I am tolerant of everyone except you. I want you to shut up. I don't want you to state your views." What happened to all their tolerance? Where is the so-called love?

To proclaim that Jesus Christ is the only way to God will offend some people. But we proclaim it because the Bible clearly teaches it. This is what we call an essential, a nonnegotiable. Jesus stated it as succinctly as it could be stated when He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6). When we state that as fact, it will offend certain people.

When a physician discovers a problem with a patient's health, he or she must tell the truth, even if it could upset the patient. As Christians, we must tell the truth about a person's condition, which, according to the Bible, is sinful. We must explain the problem and then offer the solution through Jesus Christ. And this will offend some people.

Copyright © 2009 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

For more relevant and biblical teaching from Pastor Greg Laurie, go to www.harvest.org

The Value of a Listening Ear

James 1:19 But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.


Paul Tournier, the Swiss psychiatrist, advised husbands and wives to be preoccupied with listening in their marriages. Unfortunately, unlike our text, we are usually slow to listen, quick to speak and even quicker to become angry. Most of us don't need hearing aids; we just need aid in hearing.

The first step to really hear each other is to focus on the person speaking. Sometimes my kids are waiting for me when I come home after a hard day's work, and they try in vain to get my attention. Finally, Barbara will say, "Children, it would be better to talk to your dad in a few minutes, but not right now. He isn't home yet."

"Yes, he is," they'll exclaim. "He's right here."

"Yes, we know he's right here, but he doesn't know it yet. Be a little patient with him."

And sure enough, she's right. After I have a few minutes to relax, I can usually give focused attention.

Active listening helps to focus. To practice active listening, try sending back messages of empathy that let your spouse know you are trying to put yourself in his or her shoes. Don't try to evaluate or offer a lot of advice. Just reflect what you hear being communicated, showing that you're interested in what your spouse is feeling.

Once you establish communication with your mate through focused attention and active listening, you can seek clarification by asking questions. Questions are like crowbars that dislodge thoughts and emotions from another person's heart. But you have to use those crowbars deftly and gently.

Asking the right questions is particularly valuable if you're married to a person who is reserved and has a hard time opening up. And when you're disagreeing at even the mildest level, use questions to focus on clarifying valid points rather than defending yourself against what you feel are incorrect accusations.

Focus on finding the truth rather than gaining indictments. Ask questions to gain understanding, not to make judgments.

Prayer: That you and your family can maintain a healthy balance between speaking openly and focused listening.

Discuss: Pick a topic that's begging for discussion, and spend 5 or 10 minutes talking about it while practicing the listening skills outlined above. Then evaluate how you think the discussion might have been improved.

Who is in Control?

This devotional was written by Jim Burns

What good is it for man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? —Mark 8:36

When it comes to our life, we have nothing to say about our birth and little say about our death, but in between these two events most of the decisions are ours to be made. Are you letting life and circumstances control you, or are you controlling your own life and destiny with God's help. Don't let life pass you by when you have the God-given ability to make things happen. I've heard it said:

You can't control the length of your life, but you can control its use.

You can't control your facial appearance, but you can control its expression.

You can't control the weather, but you can control the moral atmosphere that surrounds you.

You can't control the distance of your head above the ground, but you can control the height of the contents in your head.

You can't control the other fellow's annoying faults, but you can see to it that you do not develop similar faults.

Why worry about things you cannot control? Get busy controlling the things that depend on you.
GOING DEEPER:

• What is your answer to the question put forth in Mark 8:36?
• Be honest with yourself and God. Have you been striving for the things of this world, or have you been striving after God? Who or what is in control of your life?

FURTHER READING: Romans 6:15-18 - Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.

Who is your God?

And Elijah came near to all the people and said, "How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him."
--1 Kings 18:21

There comes a time in each of our lives when we have to decide whom we will serve. And that is exactly the choice that Elijah was presenting to Israel in today's verse.

He knew that if revival was going to take place in Israel, it would begin with the people who had surrendered wholeheartedly to God. But the people were divided in their hearts between serving God and Baal. So Elijah, full of the spirit of God, told them they could serve one or the other, but not both!

Today, the same is true for you and me. We must choose. Now, you may say, "We don't have idols today." But we do!

If you love anything more than you love God, you have an idol. If you serve anything more than you serve God, you have an idol. If you worship anything more than you worship God, you have an idol.

So who is your God? Who will you serve with your whole heart? Choose today whom you will serve and let it be settled forever.

WHO IS YOUR GOD? WHO WILL YOU SERVE WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART?

The Exclusiveness Of Christ

“Come unto Me.”

Matthew 11:28

Is it not humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things we will not come to Jesus Christ about. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words - "Come unto Me." In every degree in which you are not real, you will dispute rather than come, you will quibble rather than come, you will go through sorrow rather than come, you will do anything rather than come the last lap of unutterable foolishness - "Just as I am." As long as you have the tiniest bit of spiritual impertinence, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do a big thing, and all He is telling you to do is to "come."

"Come unto Me." When you hear those words you will know that something must happen in you before you can come. The Holy Spirit will show you what you have to do, anything at all that will put the axe at the root of the thing which is preventing you from getting through. You will never get further until you are willing to do that one thing. The Holy Spirit will locate the one impregnable thing in you, but He cannot budge it unless you are willing to let Him.

How often have you come to God with your requests and gone away with the feeling - Oh, well, I have done it this time! And yet you go away with nothing, whilst all the time God has stood with outstretched hands not only to take you, but for you to take Him. Think of the invincible, unconquerable, unwearying patience of Jesus - "Come unto Me."

Climbing out of the Mire

Our souls cannot climb out of the mire of sin because they are dead. Salvation comes not to those who cry out, "Show me the way to heaven," but to those who cry, "Take me there for I cannot."

Lest we see the sinner's prayer as mere technique, we must remember that Christ raises the dead that they might walk. We do not mumble the magic words and then wait to die. Christianity is about spiritual growth as well. It is about work, the hard work of sanctification. Regeneration is monergistic, God's work alone. Sanctification, the process by which we are made holy, is synergistic, God's work with us.

God's part is easy for Him. He needs no shortcuts because He never tires. We, though, must ever fight the temptation to seek the shortcut. No technique will make us holy. No technique of the Devil's, though, can stop the process of Christ making us into His image. Those whom He calls He sanctifies.

Our sanctification requires the Spirit of God and, because He has so ordered His world, sanctification requires the disciplined and repeated use of the means of grace. Five minutes a day of Bible study smells like technique. Arid, it is sure to fail. We must immerse ourselves in the Word of God. Then, as Jesus promised, we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. Then we will be His disciples (John 8:31-32).

Coram Deo: Living in the Presence of God

Remember, God is at work in you. He never tires. Give thanks for the process that is underway.

For Further Study

John 8:31-32: "Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 'If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'"

John 8:36: "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."

Psalm 40:2: "He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps."

© R.C. Sproul. All rights reserved.

"I Believe in You!"

1 Corinthians 13:4,7 Love... believes all things.

What's the one thing every teenager needs as he or she navigates adolescence? What is needed by every young mother as she assumes a responsibility she's never had before-being a mom? By every athlete to achieve his or her ultimate performance? By every husband to become the man God made him to be?

To be believed in.

All of us need someone to express positive expectancy about our lives.

Two boyhood friends, Johnny and Marty, loved baseball and each other so much that they made a pact to play together always-regardless of what happened. As time went on, Johnny became a baseball star, and his coach called him aside and told him about the upcoming tryouts for the minor leagues. Johnny said, "That's great. Marty and I will sign up right away."

But the coach responded, "Don't worry about Marty. He's just an ugly duckling-too skinny, too slow, can't field and can't hit."

But Johnny's response was, "I know he can make it if he has a chance. He's got determination. He can learn to field and hit."

Sure enough, training camp resulted in a contract for Johnny-but Marty was cut. Johnny, however, wouldn't sign without Marty, so the club gave in and awarded both a contract.

Motivated by his friend's actions, Marty slowly began to improve. During their third year in the minor leagues Johnny washed out and quit. Marty became the rising star. Eventually he was called up to the majors for the St. Louis Cardinals as a shortstop. He played in four World Series and seven All-Star games, and in 1944 was named Most Valuable Player in the National League.
Years earlier Marty's mom had asked Johnny, "Why are you so determined to keep this pact?"

Johnny replied, "Belief is a kind of love. I believe in Marty. We're friends. Believing in someone is the best kind of love."

Prayer: That as a parent you will be able to inspire every member of your household by expressing positive expectations.

Discuss: What communicates affirmative belief to you? In what one area would it most encourage you if someone believed in you more? List an area in which you can show positive belief in your mate and in your children.

A Woman's Emotions (Part Three)

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

I like what Erma Bombeck says, that "marriage is life's last chance for adults to grow up." That's what many men need to do when dealing with the emotions their wives naturally face during different seasons of their lives. We need to understand those emotions and not belittle them.

The first thing I had to do to help Barbara grow emotionally was put aside my own agenda and selflessly reach out to her. You can't simultaneously be understanding and defending yourself. One gives way to the other.

Have I always known what to do when Barbara was working through her emotions? No. Did I take it personally? Absolutely. I remember taking all of Barbara's emotions like I was a failure. I had to choose to "give myself up for her," to help her with her emotions.

The second thing I needed to do was verbalize my commitment to her frequently. I was caught off guard by Barbara's insecurity regarding my love for her early in our marriage. Barbara's trust in me had to be built one brick at a time. You don't just walk down the aisle and all of a sudden have a trustworthy relationship. You have to constantly reaffirm that love and trust.

The third thing I had to do was to give her space for her identity, to reflect who God is in her life that makes her a woman. My assignment, as a man, is to take her emotions and to value them, never saying, "You shouldn't feel that way." I need to let her express what she's feeling. And respond by saying, "I'm glad you shared with me because I'm interested in how you feel."

Finally, you can gently point your wife to find her confidence in God by leading her in prayer together. Read through Psalm 31:1, which declares "In Thee, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be ashamed; in Thy righteousness deliver me." In Him, I have nothing to fear.

Prayer: Ask the Lord to help you both grow in your understanding of one another's emotions and to learn to be sensitive, to lovingly listen and affirm your mate.

Discuss: Are you encouraging or discouraging your wife in sharing her emotions? What can you do to start encouraging her and stop discouraging her?

A Woman's Emotions (Part Two)

1 Peter 3:7 You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way.

There is this maddening part of being a man. When Barbara comes to me with a problem, my mind immediately shifts into a "fix it" mode. I wanted to solve the problem, you know, get to the bottom line! But often, the most important thing our wives need is to know we hear them and we care.

The other day Barbara came to me discouraged because our lives had been incredibly busy, and she hadn't been at home as much as she wanted. She was so busy going to ministry, church, school activities and driving kids to different functions that she hadn't been able to clean the house.

And guess how I handled it? First I took it personally. I said, "Well, I help around the house a lot." But she wasn't accusing me of not helping-she was just sharing a burden she felt.

Then, typically, I came up with a solution. That night, I declared, the entire family would participate in a "Clean Up the House" campaign. And once again I missed the real issue-how she felt. It took a few moments for me to understand that what she needed was for me to just listen and understand her.

So I dug myself out of the hole I'd fallen into and told Barbara I was sorry I had missed her clues, that I didn't hear what she needed. I began to move toward her with the understanding and compassion she needed in the first place.

Want some advice? When your wife approaches you with a problem, repeat back to her what you think she said and ask her to confirm it. For example, I could have said to Barbara, "It sounds to me like you're discouraged because you feel like you've been busy. And the kids and I have allowed the house to get to where it looks like a small volcano has gone off. Is that right?"

Believe it or not, men, often that's all a wife needs-an understanding husband. Resist the urge to fix it immediately.

Prayer: That God will give you the ability to live with your wife in an "understanding way." Ask Him to help you communicate this to your wife.

Discuss: Ask your wife if this is what she generally needs in the above situation.

A Woman's Emotions (Part One)

by Barbara Rainey

Ephesians 4:26 (NIV) Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

We know we are created in the image of God, but many don't realize our emotions are a part of God's image imprinted within us. Women need to grow in their understanding of their emotions. And this isn't easy, because many women aren't prepared to handle the different emotions they feel at different stages of their lives.

As a woman experiences various emotions, she needs to feel loved and accepted so she can face these times positively. This is not only critical for her emotional health, but also for impacting her children with positive emotional identities so they will grow up to be mature adults. These emotions are a part of the image of God, and we should grow and mature when we experience them.

When we got married, Dennis and I were completely caught off guard by my emotions as we moved into a marriage relationship. I remember the first time I was angry with Dennis. I had never felt angry with him the entire time we dated, during our engagement or in the early days of our marriage. I honestly didn't know what to do about my anger.

I remember thinking, What do I do? Where do I go? Dennis was pursuing me to solve our conflict, and I was so confused that I went into the bathroom, shut the door and thought, I can't get out of here. I'm stuck. My emotions were telling me something was very wrong in this relationship.

I held the future of my marriage and my family in my hands. I decided my relationship, which was a covenant I'd made to God, was too important not to work it out. So after stewing for awhile, I got up out of that bathroom and Dennis and I, after some real communication, resolved the problem.

Dennis and I have found that God designed marriage as a covenant relationship where a man and woman can work through their emotions and glorify God in the process.

Prayer: Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you, guide you and direct you in how you are to handle your emotions in your marriage and family relationships.

Discuss: How are you in controlling your emotions when it comes to dealing with your mate or your children?